By Bill Brownstein
Think your self at domestic in your sofa, contractually obligated to stay in entrance of your satellite-rigged tv for a interval of 7 days, on the finish of which you may produce a humorous yet penetrating account of your journey-a digital one-through the unusual and culturally revealing panorama of the 200-channel universe. invoice Brownstein did simply that, and Down the Tube is his hilarious survival advisor, entire with the professional testimony of a psychologist who saved tabs at the sofa potato's psychological country. the writer of the riotous intercourse Carnival charts his week at the sofa during this most modern odyssey with a cynical eye and incessant wit. Brownstein meditates on such very important questions as: may still Pamela Anderson sue the general practitioner who botched her breast relief? Are these humans on Springer for genuine? hello, do they nonetheless play reruns of The Waltons? no one is proof against Brownstein's wry wit, now not even big-name celebrities like Oprah, Regis, and Jerry Seinfeld.
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In TV Land, stars never fade. They do guest appearances on Hollywood Squares or write celebrity cookbooks. M. Live with Regis. His former cohost and alleged singer and sweatshop owner Kathie Lee Gifford is gone. So why is Regis smiling? He gets to audition a different adoring female sidekick every day this week. Today's sycophant is Stacey a single mother of twins from Hoosier country. Stacey manages to tell Regis a dozen times in a dozen seconds how much she adores him. Regis laps it all up. We wouldn't expect any less from the king of American television.
I must add, and these words don't come out of my mouth very often, that I had a wonderful time. " He pauses. "I've never really been able to analyze — for lack of a better word — work. Frankly, I don't know what the appeal is. " Well, that comic expression has accounted for a net worth of one hundred million dollars from Seinfeld alone, 54 DOWN THE TUBE according to those in the trade. Seinfeld is going even stronger in worldwide syndication now than when the series was in its prime. Nice work, if you can get it.
Artificial sweeteners versus real sweeteners. Stephanie Powers on power workouts for seniors. Stay tuned, says Today's Katie Couric. No worries, Katie. We have nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Besides, I must confess that Today's Ann Curry is the most sultry, seductive news anchor on the tube — she could be reciting pork-belly futures and I would be transfixed. This could also be a reaction to too much Dan Rather. Today cohost Matt Lauer points out that one Patrick Zelzer has put an ad in a local paper under the "Kidney Wanted" category.
Down The Tube: The Diary of My Week in TV Hell. 200 Channels. No Escape. by Bill Brownstein